Break the Cycle:
Refusing to Accept Abuse, Deceit, Corruption, and Injustice
I was sixteen, living on my own, juggling multiple jobs to survive. Sitting in the high school guidance counselor’s office nearly forty years ago, trying to navigate personal chaos and an uncertain future, he looked at me and said three words that would shape the course of my life:
Break the cycle.
As an adult survivor of childhood abuse—and now a mother—I understand the depth of that advice. At first, it meant refusing to replicate the patterns of violence and neglect that had shaped me. It meant choosing accountability over excuses, protection over neglect, and healing over bitterness.
But as I have watched injustice unfold in courts and institutions that are meant to protect the vulnerable, I have learned that breaking the cycle is far broader and far more urgent than any personal choice.
The Cycles We Must Confront
Abuse, yes—but also deception, corruption, and systemic injustice. These cycles survive because silence and indifference allow them to persist.
During our litigation, I felt this sharply. The defense attorney repeatedly referred to my abuse as merely “alleged,” a deliberate tactic to cast doubt in the judge’s mind about my lived reality. Each time I heard those words, I was reminded that the systems designed to protect victims often shield perpetrators instead. Calling attention to that tactic drew criticism. It was uncomfortable. It was exhausting. But ignoring it would have been a surrender to the very forces that keep these cycles alive.
We also faced the repeated erasure of truth.
- A public Google review – suddenly gone.
- Texts deleted around key events.
- Statements under oath twisted or false.
Each discovery was a reminder that truth is fragile, easily suppressed when those in power are unwilling to confront wrongdoing. Documenting these acts was not popular—then or now. In fact, it often drew resentment from those who preferred expedience to accountability. But justice cannot be measured by how quickly a case is closed. Expedience may offer comfort, but it perpetuates harm, leaving the next victim to navigate the same obstacles and the next wrongdoing to continue unchecked. Justice demands patience, persistence, and courage—even when those qualities come at a personal cost.
Courage in the Face of Threat
The challenge is not abstract. At one point, I learned that the Defendants had shared a book called Revenge. In that moment, I had to find the courage to act, to confront their conduct directly, to try to break the cycle they were perpetuating, no matter the personal risk. The decision was not easy—filing an HRO. It required exposing my vulnerability, accepting scrutiny, and knowing that standing up for what is right often paints you as the problem rather than the solution. Yet standing silent would have been complicity.
Breaking the cycle is not a single act. It is the choice, day after day, to speak the truth when silence is safer, to defend the vulnerable when indifference would be easier, to confront corruption and concealment when expedience beckons. It is the refusal to allow abuse, deception, harassment, or injustice to go unchallenged simply because the system favors comfort over accountability.
Nearly forty years ago, a guidance counselor told me to break the cycle. Today, the message is the same—but the stakes are far higher.
Break the cycle of abuse.
Break the cycle of lies and deceit.
Break the cycle of corruption.
Break the cycle of injustice.
And above all, never stop insisting that what is right is more important than what is easy.
Justice Over Expedience
When I think back to that sixteen-year-old girl sitting in a guidance counselor’s office, frightened and uncertain about her future, I realize she could never have imagined the battles that still lay ahead. Yet the lesson she received that day remains as relevant now as it was then:
Break the cycle.
Too often, our institutions ask victims to move on, stay quiet, or accept outcomes that prioritize efficiency over truth. Victims’ rights advocates have long argued that meaningful justice requires more than simply closing cases—it requires ensuring that victims are heard and treated with dignity throughout the process.
Justice was never meant to be convenient. It was never meant to be fast. It was never meant to protect the comfort of those in power while sacrificing the rights of those who have been harmed.
A system that values expedience over accountability does not break cycles—it reinforces them. Public confidence in the courts depends on transparency, accountability, and the belief that justice is being pursued rather than merely processed. Real justice requires the willingness to follow the facts wherever they lead, to confront misconduct no matter who commits it, and to remember that every unanswered wrong becomes an invitation for the next one.
Break the cycle—not someday, not when it is easy, not when victory is guaranteed.
Break it today, wherever you find it. In your family. In your community. In your workplace. In your courts. Because every time someone chooses truth over silence, courage over fear, and justice over expedience, the cycle weakens.
And that is how lasting change begins.
